tomorrow's the last. finally.

this entire examination has been a nightmare serious. i fucked up every single paper i could. and today's was terribly bad.

i feel more pathetic damn ever. now my squash sucks studies suck and i ____________________________

(omg why am i still harping on this even wtf)

and i am terribly sick atm. down with flu sorethroat and am a little feverish and this whole feeling is super sucky. hate it when everything comes at one go. i can't handle this shit all at once.



screw expectations.

my exam starts tomorrow. when most are halfway through/already done :( gosh. its good and bad.i have more time to study which i obviously need but i end on the last day of exams when everyone else has already played for 2 weeks.


I am so annoyed at my lack of discipline. I'm not really studying, i'm not really doing anything. half the time im stoning, and on facebook, so much so that i'm bored of facebook. gosh someone save me. and i can't go out either cos my exams are not over and i'd feel terribly guilty if i do. :( the article i just read said that multitasking causes information to be processed in some part of the brain which does not facilitate information storage. which means im screwed.


anyhow, i'm so damn unprepared for this exams. not because i studied less. never did i really study alot, just that this time the modules are so much tougher (except accounting). plus the smaller cohord <60 for actuarialscience and IT means that basically im gged big time. plus i screwed up coursework. i dont really know what to expect, except to say byebye to my gpa.

yet im still not feeling the urgency. 5 papers in the next 13 days. i know there's very little time, but im still slacking away, doing things own time own target.



goodluck jerryca.

off to study again. sometimes i wish i weren't so stupid.

get me back to the rafflesian environment right here right now.

i can't cope with the inefficiencies and incapability and inability to communicate anymore


ANYMORE.

i've been neglecting squash since the start of this semester i must admit. its not so easy to cope with both anymore. but now school's out, study break. time to train (: and study too of course.

wispa in dec. got to get my fitness and strength back in one month.


not a very pleasant deadline to work with.


hmmmmm

 
i woke up on a sunday morning and started occupying my brain with nonsense. thinking about things that won't happen again. somehow i wished i could get my brain out of this state so i can use it for more constructive purposes like studying for my test next week so i won't screw up my gpa so badly this semester.

what's wrong with me. haven't i had enough already and all i do is to fall back into it fall back into it and fall back into it.

ugh study. exams in 2 and a half weeks.

i'm moving home soon (: haha no more hall for about 2 months. thing is ive shifted a whole lot of nonsense to my room but i barely utilize them zzzzzz



ohwell nvm next sem maybe 

super tired

nights!

 

i'm seriously quite disappointed in you.



but i guess its none of business anymore

my head hurts! :( fitness test in the morning sun is ewww srsly. and recovery sprints. tsk.


ohwell its been a rather good week. but im super UNMOTIVATED now because there are no more quizzes. maybe just project deadlines. but its okay cos its IT and im loving it ahhaha.

ohgays i realize how geeky im beginning to sound.


anyhow, i'll just have to hang in there as project deadlines and presentations start to loom. its the eekiest part of the semester. but we'll all get through it and we'll all be fine. somehow we'll find our ways, like we always do.


for now let me bask in the happiness of not having any quiz to study for since school started after midterms.

can't wait for the holidays, CAN'T WAIT.


:D

 ... because this world is fucking unforgiving.



stop sucking already.